Hide and Seek
by Vivre12
Summary: There are some secrets that are common knowledge, such as Potter's ongoing obsession with Lily Evans, or that the reason for Pettigrew spending so long in the Hospital Wing in our third year was because Black thought it would be funny to dare him to kiss a toad, resulting in his so-called-friend getting warts. Nice one, Black. But my secrets? Those I'll take to the grave.


There's nothing I hate more than people who cry. I hate the whining noise that they make and the ever flow of tears down their cheeks. They always attract attention, as well, especially when they do it in public. Those around them immediately gather around and try to comfort them, wanting to be the one to win the victory of cheering them up. The entire scene makes me sick to my stomach; if you want to weep, do it in privacy amongst only close friends – those that choose to do it in the open wish for the attention that it draws.

I hate it even more when I cry.

I don't think that I've cried in over a year now. I've grown immune to the insipid sniffles that seem to plague everyone around me, especially at the beginning and end of the school year. The station's full of students either clinging onto their parents or fellow class mates, saying their goodbyes for the year, or sometimes forever.

And, lucky me, it just so happened to be that time of the year for me. I was surrounded by first years clinging onto their parents, some with tears in their eyes as they confessed their worries about leaving home for so long, others in excitement. Either way, it was bloody irritating.

In my first year, I had been too eager to get on the train to even notice if my eyes were dry. As soon as they called us on, I bolted from my parents and jumped on the train, my mouse, Vixador (I don't know whether or not it's a boy or a girl), hanging onto my shoulder for dear life. I almost knocked over a third year by the sheer speed that I was running at. My, how things have change.d

Now, as I looked at my second-to-last year of Hogwarts, all I felt was fear. Starting my sixth year would also mean starting to face the prospect of my school days ending and the start of the grown up world. Turning my back on Hogwarts was one of the most terrifying things that I could think of, but also one of the most relieving.

My parents were currently fussing over my elder brother, Charlie, who was staring at the end of his school days right in the face. After extremely successful OWL results, there was a lot of pressure on him to do well this year in his NEWTs, especially as the Professors, including Dumbledore himself, had sent an owl to the Ministry recommending him for a position in Magical Law Enforcement.

"Don't push yourself _too _hard, though," my mum said, cradling her son's face with both her hands, keeping her eyes sternly on his. "You must remember to enjoy your last year at Hogwarts."

"I know, mum," said Charlie, rolling his eyes.

"But that's not to say that you should ignore your studies," cut in my dad. "Your NEWTs can and will determine how your future is set out."

"David!" hissed mum, sending a glare his way. He put his hands up defensively.

"I'm just trying to give him the same advice my dad gave me!" he protested. "It _is _an important year. But your mother's right; try not to let it become your only focus."

Charlie nodded and leant forward to give our dad a hug, sighing deeply as he stood back. His stress ahd already settled in for the year, and it practically sat upon his shoulders. I couldn't imagine what it was like to have that much pressure in one person. I readjusted Vixador on my shoulder and made sure that my suitcase was tightly secure (last year it burst open and bras and all flung everywhere.

"Bye mum," Charlie whispered, kissing her on the cheek. He then headed off towards the train, taking a slow walk as he looked around for his friends.

"I'll see you at Christmas," I smiled, ignoring the hostile air and saying goodbye to my parents. My mum's eyes travelled to Charlie before looking over at me, smiling.

"The same goes for you, sweetheart," she said, "try to have some fun as well." She kissed me on the cheek and waved goodbye, my dad following suit. "And remind Charlie to look out for you!"

"She started looking out for herself when she was three years old – she doesn't need me looking out for her!" Charlie shouted back amidst the crowds, causing my mum to laugh.

I pushed past the crowds, trying to make sure that Vixador didn't fall off. I could feel his claws clinging tightly onto my shoulder. I hadn't managed to lose him/her in all of my years of having him/her, but there was still the worry that I'd look over and find my shoulder empty and end up having McGonagall coming to me with him/her in her hand, giving me a look torn between amusement and disappointment. I had happened to Frank Longbottom last year with his toad, and his cheeks had burned for the rest of the day. It didn't help that Alice teased him about it non-stop – if Frank hadn't been so madly in love with her, then he never would have forgiven her.

Finally, I found my way onto the train, having to push past a group of fifth years whose broomsticks seemed to be obsessed with tripping me up. Either that, or the fifth years were a bunch of gits. Once past them, I looked around to see if I could find any familiar faces although I had no such luck. Instead, I began a search for an empty compartment, deciding that I would wait while reading a book.

"River!"

A voice travelled over from afar and I turned around to see a beaming Lily Evans waving at me, walking towards me. "We've been looking for you!" she said when she reached me, grabbing my arm. I raised an eyebrow.

"We?" I repeated.

"Me, Alice, Frank and Mary," said Lily motioning behind her. "We found each other a few minutes ago and managed to grab an empty compartment. Come!"

Before I could say anything, she pulled me along, Vixador having to burry himself into my neck to make sure that he/she didn't slip off by the sudden change in direction. I was used to Lily's odd enthusiasm by now, so found it as no surprise when she started to chug me along the corridors, grinning from ear to ear while she talked about how excited she was to start studying for her NEWTs. I always marvelled at how Lily managed to put the word 'fun' and 'study' in the same sentence.

"I just hope that McGonagall isn't too disappointed with my Divination mark," frowned Lily.

"I doubt she'll be disappointed with an E, Lily," I said, rolling my eyes.

"But she told me that I should be aiming for all O's," complained Lily. "The stupid little E is going to stand out a mile."

"Ever heard of the phrase making a mountain out of a mole hill?"

Lily glared at me and drew open a compartment door, me following in. Alice and Frank were sitting together by the window, holding hands and chatting away about their summer, most of which they probably spent together. Mary sat opposite them, her eyes staring out theh window, looking as though she was in an entirely different world.

"Hello, Mary," I said, sitting myself down next to her. She moved her dirty blonde head towards me slightly, lifting her hand in greeting, keeping her eyes fixed on the window.

Mary was a people-watcher. She could easily spend many hours just sitting in the corner watching people's mannerisms and listening to their conversations, all the while never getting bored. I couldn't count the amount of times she'd neglected her homework because she found someone else's minutes and a few clicks to catch her attention. For now, I thought I wouldn't let her enjoy her observations.

"Hello, lovebirds," I said in greeting to Alice and Frank. Alice looked over at me and stuck out her tongue, grinning while doing so.

"Hello, River," said Frank, smiling politely, despite the pink tinge to his cheeks. "Have a nice summer?"

"Same old," I shrugged, deciding to skip over the boring details. Thankfully he didn't push for them, and instead opted for returning to his chat with Alice.

"Leave them to it," said Lily, sitting down next to me, smirking at the couple. "They've been like that ever since they reunited, although I doubt their departure was long."

"The joys of love," I muttered dryly. Lily smacked me on the arm.

"Don't be so negative!" she scolded. "We're teenage girls – love is _supposed _to be wonderful and all-consuming. Who knows, maybe even the reserved River Swaine will stumble upon it one day?"

"Yeah, and James Potter will go one day without asking you out," I retorted.

"You never know – he might grow tired of me one day," said Lily, although I knew that that would never happen. TO be honest, I don't think Lily would want to.

I wasn't really sure where the whole Lily-James relationship stood. I used to know perfectly – hell, the _entire school _knew; James was infatuated with Lily, while Lily would give anything to have a constant six foot separation between them, but recently… Ever since Snape – a.k.a. number one twat – had called Lily a Mudblood, things had been different. Lily no longer wanted anything to do with him, Snape's fascination in dark magic became more prominent daily and the Marauders had been spending more time with us. It had been a slow start, as Lily still wanted nothing to do with him, particularly as she was still sensitive about the while Snape issue and James continued to bring it up, but over time she learnt that the only way to get over losing a childhood friend was to talk about it. Somehow, James had transformed for a childish prankster into a perceptive teenager, able to make Lily laugh when others failed to.

Before I knew it, I was coming down to find Lily and James sitting in the corner of the common room, with James' hand over Lily's as they whispered to teach other, telling secrets that obviously weren't for anyone else's ears. I don't know why, but I remember smiling when I saw the two of them together. Somehow it just looked right.

But neither of them had made a move on each other, apart from James' constant date requests, although those had toned down. They seemed more relaxed around each other, and the idea of them actually going out seemed more realistic, however I had no clue how either of them felt, although I still felt that James' feelings for Lily hadn't wavered. The only thing I was certain about was that were going to see a lot more of the Marauders this year.

Once the train had started moving, Mary reluctantly moved her eyes away from the window, not finding much interest in the moving scenery, and joined in with our conversation. We talked about our tedious summer routines and how much we missed them, then went on to discuss our Owl results and what we wanted to study in NEWTs these next two years.

Both Lily and Mary knew what they wanted to do; Mary wanted to be a Healer and take after her uncle, whom she thought of more as a father than her own, and Lily wanted to work in the Ministry and improve the surveillance on dark magic, although she still wasn't entirely sure on how to do that.

I had no idea what I wanted to do. I was smart, although not Lily and Charlie smart, and some teachers had encouraged me to pursue a more academic career. But I didn't know _what _I wanted to pursue. I'd found out that I had a talent in Care of Magical Creatures, and had considered travelling to Romania to work with dragons, but that would mean leaving the country for three years straight training, with only a week every now and then where I could come and visit my family. It was still a possibility, though. I also had a love of Quidditch, but there was no way that I would be good enough to make it onto a tem, let alone make a living out of it.

"I can't wait to drop History of Magic," sighed Mary happily, "although I will miss the extra hour of sleep."

"You drooled once," commented Lily.

"It was disgusting," I added, "I thought I was going to have to get a bucket."

"Yeah, because _you're _such a lady," smirked Mary.

"I never said I was," I said, "but I will admit, History of Magic lessons weren't my shining moments, either. I think it was the only lesson that I ever fell asleep."

"I can't believe that you two find it so dull," said Lily, folding her arms. "I mean, I know Professor Binns is a little… _different –_"

"The man's a walking _ghost, _Lily," interrupted Mary. "It doesn't get more different than that."

"Even so, he obviously knows what he's talking about," continued Lily. "The fact that he's not of living form shouldn't affect that. Besides, the past of magic is really interesting!"

"What you call interesting, I call coma-inducing." We looked up to find James Potter standing by the door, his fellow friends by his side. He was leaning against the doorway, grinning crookedly at Lily. "I can't believe that you lot are already talking about studies; it's as if you don't know how to have fun."

"It's called using more than ten per cent of your brain," replied Lily, her lips twitching despite herself. James' grin grew as he walked in, probably relieved to see that Lily no longer wanted to knock his head off, the other Marauders following. I felt myself close off immediately, my eyes turning away and looking down at the book in my hand. It was a diary, one that I'd been writing in for a few years, now. It was there to calm me down.

I found it difficult in social situations, especially with people that I didn't know. I felt no anxiety or pressure to be funnier than I usually am; I just shut down. I become polite rather than myself and only join into the conversation when necessary. Later on in the year I'd open up, if I got to know them a bit better, but I knew that there'd still be a distance.

It was fine, though; James was far more interested Lily, Remus enjoyed reading most of the time and putting in the odd quip and Sirius and Mary were either having their own conversation or joining in with Lily and James'. Then there was Peter, who kind of just sat in the corner, trying desperately to make a funny comment, only to fail miserably and sit back with a wretched expression on his face.

I preferred it this way, as it meant that I didn't have to try and join in. I was perfectly happy just being a silent bystander.

"You thought it would be funny?" said Lily incredulously. "Why on earth did you think that giving yourself purple eyebrows would be funny?"

"Why not?" said James. "All the cool kids were doing it."

"You're hanging out with the wrong kids," said Lily.

"Well, needless to say, it did not go well," said James. "It took two weeks to get it off, and I had to go to my parent's boss' barbeque with it."

"You know, I think I can still see a hint of purple," teased Lily, poking his eyebrow.

"Maybe you'll be known as the school punk," smirked Sirius. "That'll definitely give you some street cred."

"As if I need anymore," grinned James, wriggling his eyebrows.

A knock on the door interrupted their laughter, sliding open without an invite. Someone cleared their throat and I looked up to see Professor Liam Hensworth standing there, his blonde hair falling slightly over his eyes.

"Sorry to disturb you all," he said, smiling at all of us, "but I was wondering if I could have a word with Miss Swaine? Nothing to worry about, I just wanted to talk about that course that you mentioned to me last year. I have some new information on it."

I felt my insides freeze but I kept a calm face, closing my book slowly as I cleared my throat.

"Of course, professor," I said, putting my book down as I stood up, self-consciously brushing my skirt down. I could feel everyone's eyes on me, and I would've given anything to make them stop staring.

"We should get going too, Remus," I heard Lily say as I walked out of the compartment; "we don't want to be late for the first Prefect meeting."

I followed Liam to the end of the train, where I knew he had a separate compartment. Professor Hensworth was the youngest teacher at Hogwarts, only twenty-six years old. When he first came, about five years ago, the entire female student body had been fixated on him, taking any opportunity to talk either about or to him. I, however, had known him for many years, as he was a faiyl friend, and found nothing refreshing about his arrival, only excitement to have a teacher I know at the school.

At first.

"In here, Miss Swaine," smiled Liam, holding the door open for me. I half smiled at him, not making eye contact, as I walked through. I didn't turn around until I heard him lock the door, and even then I did so slowly. Liam was smiling still, only this one was a different smile, and one I knew too well.

He walked slowly over to me, his eyes looking over me and taking me in. He sighed deeply and ran his hands up my arms, his eyes locking on mine. The sunlight from the window seemed to reflect off of his bright blue eyes, giving him an eerie look. I could feel my insides trembling, and yet I somehow managed to remain neutral, my face blank.

"Alone at last," Liam whispered, leaning in to press his lips against mine.

**A/N: I came up with this new idea, and hopefully it'll be as good as I imagine it could be, although my mind tends to exaggerate… It will be quite dark in places and Liam will be a rather… **_**creepy **_**character. But there will be funny moments (I hope). **

**I hope this chapter was worth reading, and if so please R/R, and if there's something you feel I could do more on, or you'd like to see more of in the future, feel free to leave a comment telling me so.**

**Live long and prosper, Dobs12 **


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